A New Relationship to Death & Suicide

by Erika Kita


(Yangshuo, China) 


A couple years ago a friend of mine committed suicide.  Even though I wasn’t extremely close to him I was completely devastated.  Questions ran through my mind, ”Why?”…”Could I have somehow done or said something different to help him?”…”Tried harder to get to know him better and gone deeper with him?”

Shortly after, he made contact with me from the “other side”, which was my first experience and communication I had with the spirit world at that level of depth.

In some indigenous communities, when somebody commits suicide they honor them for knowing that it was their time to go.  There wasn’t anything wrong or bad about it, as we have labeled it (no polarities).  Death was and is a natural process and on a soul level, everyone chooses when it’s their time to “go” no matter what the “exit” looks like.

So instead of looking at my friend’s death and the way he chose to transition as there was something wrong; he wanted to somehow convey that he was ok and that it was “right” for him.  He had no regrets.  All he wanted to say to me was thank you for being a good friend and that he was still there.  That I still had him as a friend…he was just in a different reality.


I didn’t completely understand at that time the entirety of what he was sharing with me but I felt so much more at peace with his “passing”, knowing that he was at peace and that somehow it was the “right” choice for him.  Let alone, being able to “see”, feel his energy and speak to him through the “invisibles” was such a profound experience that changed me…

“Invisible before birth are all beings and after death invisible again. They are seen between two unseens, why in this truth find sorrow?”

– Bhavagad Gita 

Since then my communication and experience with the spirit world has grown as I have grown into our multidimensional truth, senses, and awareness.  I know and understand to the core of my being that we never actually die…our soul is eternal; we are eternal.  We go on to another reality in our soul’s evolution and our loved ones that we think we have lost are truly always with us (just in another form).  They’ve only lost the physical form, however, their essence, their spirit move on and we have access to them if we are in touch with our Spirit…after all, we are all One.

Our society holds so much fear in death and dying because we’ve been conditioned to fear it and we have not been taught our true, immortal nature.  As long as we are fearful & hold the frequency of fear; we can be and are controlled, manipulated and used by the “powers that be” in the matrix.

“The reason you call it ‘grief’ is because you have been programmed to believe that you should feel bad about death.”

– Abraham-Hicks 

As a single woman, as I was traveling alone around the world and especially in remote areas, the fear of death or something happening to me came up for me a handful of times.  My guides shared with me that I needed to let go of that fear because even if I did perish in this world, I was a being of the Universe and I would still be ok.

Yes,  it is sad to lose a loved one and of course, we feel depths of sadness yet there’s also beauty in being able to feel the depths of pain while also seeing the truth and sacredness of a natural process of life.  Sometimes love is about letting go…

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” – Yoda 

Where there is death there is always a birth of something new.  Just like the seasons when the trees lose their leaves in the fall only to go through a rebirth in the spring. There can be nothing new without the death of an old, so in actuality our friends and family who die are re-birthing.

Each and every one of us is on a journey of the soul’s evolution and even though we may not understand or agree with everyone’s choices, at the end of the day, I don’t think our purpose here is to understand.

I think our purpose here is to experience, to learn, to love, to honor and to celebrate each other through all the depths of life.  To bring humanity to a new level of dignity and beauty as we honor the sacredness of the full range of life.

At this point in my evolution, when people die, saying “I am sorry for your loss” is not congruent for me anymore because I know that we haven’t really lost them.  They’ve transcended into something new.

I want to honor that

I want to celebrate that 

I’m not sorry or scared about death anymore…

We are in the midst of a huge change of what it means to be human and as we shift towards and back to a time where we remember who we are, death is, has and will become more prevalent.  It’s a part of life and as we move towards the new, death is inevitable.

Perhaps we can learn to embrace it and honor the truth of what it really is.

Death is not the end…it’s only the beginning.